How to Make Dating Apps Work for You

Whether or not it works depends on factors like how much effort you put into it, your dating app profile, and your location. 

According to The Guardian, over 200,000 Nigerians patronise dating sites despite safety concerns such as identity fraud, catfishing and predisposition to scammers.

Finding love in Nigeria can feel like a hustle. Between Lagos traffic, work deadlines, slow replies, and talking stages that start loudly and die quietly, many people are tired. So we grab our phones, download a dating app, and hope that maybe, just maybe, this will be easier.

But I’ve come to realise that many Nigerians (not all) have certain unpalatable opinions about dating sites, shaped by cultural attitudes and social norms. 

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For instance, a male friend of mine once openly and unashamedly told me he used Tinder when he was single, and by the time I opened an account, I had to hide the app because I didn’t want to come off as desperate. I also found that many men on the app automatically believe you’re a sex worker. 

At the end of the day, I uninstalled the app, as it was starting to affect my general perception of men and self-esteem. However, I’ve seen it work for a few people. One major piece of advice I got was that, while virtually everyone may be experiencing a loneliness epidemic, you may never find a match if you’re not sincere with yourself about what you want.

All you have to do is understand what you truly want from the app and stick to the standards you’ve set, even if it takes a decade to find your perfect match. 

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Any app can become a dating site if you use it correctly. Sure, there are platforms designed specifically for dating, but connection doesn’t always follow the rules. 

People meet on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and even in the comments of random posts. Social apps are built for interaction, and once conversation starts, chemistry can follow. 

So while dating apps make things easier, they’re not the only place relationships begin. The love of your life may find you while scrolling through reels on IG or comments on X (formerly Twitter). 

In fact, my favourite online couple, Toni Tone and Taye 9ja, met online, with Taye 9ja being the first to follow Toni Tone on social media. 

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When you’re trying to figure out which app to use, remember that not all of them are the same. 

• If you’re serious about finding a relationship, check out AfroIntroductions or Bumble. AfroIntroductions is a dating website and app for African singles or those interested in dating them. Users search for other Africans based on interests and location, like profiles to show interest, and when they like back, you can begin a chat. Bumble is free to download and use, available everywhere and gives women more control by letting them message first. It is best suited for career-oriented singles.

• If you just want to meet new people and grow your social circle, BuzzCast is great because its community features make broader networking easy. It’s not a traditional dating site but a live-streaming app where users can meet new people through real-time and voice interactions. This limits the risk of getting catfished.

• If you’re interested in casual connections, Tinder is still the go-to. It has the biggest user base, so you’ll find people looking for all sorts of things: commitment, friends with benefits, friendship…name it. Users swipe left to pass or right to like other people’s profiles. If two users mutually swipe right on each other, it’s a match, and they can go on to chat. 

Before you start swiping, know what you’re looking for. Are you after casual dating, friendship, or a serious relationship? Being clear about your intentions helps you engage with people who share similar goals and avoids wasting time on mismatched connections.

Think of your profile as your digital representative. To make it shine, try including these things:

• Choose Clear, Recent Photos: Use bright, natural images that clearly show your face. Avoid heavily filtered shots or group photos that make it hard to identify you. Make sure the pictures highlight your hobbies or travel for added personality.

• Write an Honest, Engaging Bio: Keep your bio brief, authentic, and reflective of your personality. A touch of humour works well, but clarity about your intentions is even more important.

• Highlight Your Interests: Include hobbies, favourite books, movies, or travel experiences. Shared interests are conversation starters and help attract compatible matches.

• Keep It Positive: Focus on what you enjoy rather than listing dislikes. Positivity attracts engagement and sets a welcoming tone.

• Update Regularly: An active, evolving profile signals you’re genuinely engaged. Refresh photos or bios periodically to show you’re active and approachable.

Check your messages regularly and respond thoughtfully. Consistency shows genuine interest and keeps conversations moving. Avoid ghosting or rushing interactions meaningful connections take time.

Read Next: Ghosted? Here’s Why It Happened and How to Bounce Back Like a Boss

Don’t wait for matches to message you first. Ask questions, show curiosity, and encourage dialogue. At the same time, understand that not every connection will respond immediately. Patience is key.

Even short conversations matter. Listen actively, respond politely, and avoid being judgemental. Respectful behaviour not only builds trust but also attracts people who value the same qualities.

Dating apps are meant to help you meet people. Your success depends on authenticity, effort, and the willingness to engage outside the app when the timing feels right.

Setting boundaries from the start protects you and your time. Let people know what you’re comfortable with, whether it’s how often you chat, your intentions, or physical limits. 

Being clear upfront saves misunderstandings and naturally attracts people who respect and value your space.

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Prioritise your safety. Never share sensitive personal information too soon, and when meeting someone in person, stick to public places and let a friend or family member know your plans. Manage your expectations, too; not every match will turn into a relationship, and that’s okay.

Most importantly, be yourself. Authenticity naturally filters out incompatible matches and draws in those who are truly interested in who you are.