Discussions on gender equality often focus on empowering girls and women, but an essential aspect of this conversation is how boys perceive and relate to women. The way women are represented in a boy’s environment, through media, family, education, and societal norms, plays a crucial role in shaping his attitude toward women and influencing his future relationships. In Nigeria and across Africa, where cultural expectations often reinforce rigid gender roles, it is critical to redefine these narratives. Women, particularly mothers, have a responsibility to ensure that their portrayal of womanhood fosters respect, empathy, and positive masculinity in boys. In commemoration of the International Women’s Day, I have highlighted how positive representation of womanhood to the boy-child can aid accelerated action towards gender equality.
Why does this matter? Boys primarily learn about womanhood from the women in their lives—mothers, sisters, teachers and role models. Research has shown that boys, like all children, learn through observation, meaning that when women demonstrate strength, leadership and self-respect, boys internalise these traits as admirable and normal. A study by the African Population and Health Research Centre highlights that gender perceptions are shaped early in life, emphasising the importance of positive representation.
An urgent issue in Nigeria and Africa is the persistence of toxic masculinity, which contributes to gender-based violence. According to the National Bureau of Statistics, about 30 per cent of Nigerian women experience gender-based violence, often due to harmful gender norms. A boy raised to respect and value women is less likely to develop misogynistic tendencies. If he sees women as capable and strong rather than submissive and subjugable, he carries this understanding into adulthood, helping to break this cycle.
Another critical aspect is emotional intelligence. Many African cultures discourage men from expressing emotions, leading to suppressed feelings and unhealthy relationships. When women model empathy and open communication, boys learn that expressing emotions is a human trait, not a gendered one. This helps raise men who are emotionally aware, respectful, and capable of forming healthy relationships.
Mothers play a pivotal role in shaping how their sons view and treat women. Beyond setting an example, they must actively teach boys what women need in men—respect, emotional support, shared responsibility, and equality in relationships. Studies show that boys raised in homes where mothers are respected tend to replicate this behaviour in adulthood. Highlighting successful African women in leadership, such as Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala (Director-General of the WTO) and Chimamanda Adichie (renowned author and feminist advocate), can reinforce the idea that women’s contributions to society go beyond traditional roles.
How can we change the narrative? To break harmful stereotypes, boys must be exposed to women in leadership, innovation, and decision-making roles. This can be achieved by showcasing strong female role models in books, media and real life. This is essential to dismantling the stigma surrounding women as portrayed in popular media cultures where women are commonly depicted as sex objects.
We can also change the narrative by encouraging open conversations with boys about gender equality and respect.
Teaching boys that respect is a fundamental human right and not something women must earn is a fundamental principle in achieving gender equality.
In conclusion, it is important to note that you cannot drink water from an empty cup. Therefore, raising boys who respect and value women begins with the women around them. By embodying self-worth, confidence, and leadership, women shape boys into men who are capable, confident, empathetic and supportive of gender equality and societal development. In doing so, they not only uplift future generations of women but also contribute to a balanced and progressive society.
Happy International Women’s Day
- Olufunke Oyinlola is the Executive Director, Boys Aid Network. She studied Crime, Psychology and Justice at University of Leicester as a Chevening Scholar.
