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One of the messages that I received reads… ‘’I have just come back from a trip to a remote part of the country, where I went to pick up a little boy to start living with my family. The little boy is the son of my younger brother. And his mother has just died. The mother and my brother were lovers in their school days but being an only child, her parents said they would prefer she married someone from their part of the country, who practices their religion. I guess that by the time they found out she was with a child, they accepted her condition but rejected my brother’s offer to marry her. That was how that relationship ended. My brother was so heartbroken he resigned from his job in that state and relocated to another part of the country. Later, he met the lady that he is now married to. It’s not as if she is not aware that he has a child but the existence of that very boy became a problem between them. She gets angry when he sends anything for the boy’s welfare. The mother of the boy didn’t have a problem with the boy coming to live with the father, who wanted him to grow up with his other siblings but his wife refused. When they began to make plans to relocate abroad, this woman still refused for the boy to become a part of their plan. When the boy’s mother died, I expected that she would have a change of heart and bring the boy closer, it did not happen. That’s why I went to bring the boy to start living with my family. Because, left to the father’s wife, that boy will remain in that village. And not have access to good education.’’
From Oby…
As far as I am concerned, part of the problem with marriages of nowadays is that we have people who have God on their lips and not in their hearts. Do you know how I know that anybody knows God? When they can afford to imagine themselves in the other pair of shoes! Whenever I reflect on what is playing out in some marriages of this age, I ask myself ‘’why are we comfortable deceiving ourselves?’’
I am told that the woman in this story is the type that does not even wear ear rings and make-up, that is how strong her own “born-again” is. I expected she would even be the one clamouring for the boy to join the rest of the family and receive an opportunity for a good education but she only knows her own children and the man is afraid to rock the boat. She has probably threatened him that it’s either that boy or the marriage. Frankly, there’s a certain weakness that should not be the portion of any man with a woman he calls his wife. I am still wondering what the sin of the boy is. Is it because he was born by another woman? What I want to say is that some marital problems will become a thing of the past, if people truly have God in their hearts and not on their lips. If God lives in your heart, you will not treat someone’s child (let alone the child of your spouse) the way you would not want another person to treat you or your own child. If God lives in your heart, you will know that marriage is a pulpit, which God has given you to touch lives positively with. If God is truly in our hearts, we will live the marital experience differently…starting with fairness. That is…assuming you are the one in the other pair of shoes and acting accordingly.

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